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Tuesday, 13 March 2018

My First Tinder Date



So, it finally happened. It happened a while ago actually, between Christmas and new year. After 18 months of singledom, I scored my first date.

And it was... well, it was all a bit eh.

Let's start at the beginning, shall we?

I had actually matched with Paul on Tinder around early November. We chatted, exchanged numbers and arranged to meet at a pizza place in Liverpool city centre about a week or so after matching, as that's when our work schedules allowed.  Then the day I arrived. I donned the tartan skirt I wear when I want to look nice and actually put some real effort into my make up for once. As I stood at the bus stop waiting for the bus into Liverpool, I received a text:

"Hey Stacey, sorry I've only just woke up, I must have been knackered. Is it ok if we leave tonight? I'm not feeling too hot today, woke up not feeling great just don't really feel like leaving the house"

I text him back, saying that I hoped he felt better soon, and that was that. Le sigh. Not the least bit surprised that my date had been cancelled, I got on the bus anyway and met up with my friend Gemma on the other side of the river. We went shopping and ate food all whilst she patiently listened to me rant about men and Tinder.

About a week or two later, I was scrolling through my texts trying to find a particular message when something caught my eye. Under Paul's name was a message that I didn't recall seeing. A message from him, sent to me a couple of minutes after he'd cancelled our date. It was only a simple text, asking me how I was, but the fact that I'd completely missed it and spent a week or so thinking that he'd sacked me off completely made me wanna bang my head against the wall. So typical that it ended up being me who looked like an ignorant dick. I wouldn't mind, but the message had been opened. Did I open it by accident somehow? Did it not register with me because I was mad? Was I going insane? All very real possibilities.

I messaged him apologising for seemingly ignoring him and explained that I had somehow not seen his message. He got back to me, and we spoke sporadically for a couple of days but he was in Spain for a few days and it all petered out fairly quickly. Again, I thought that was that.

Christmas came, work got busy and distracted me from the depressing notion that I was spending my second festive season alone. Tindering became less of a priority as I accepted my fate of entering 2018 single.

Then, two days after Christmas, he got back in touch asking if we could start afresh. I'm a big believer in second chances, so we started talking again. A date was swiftly arranged for a few days later, and this time it actually happened.

We met up in Liverpool as we originally intended. We grabbed some pizza and hit up a few bars. After everything that had happened previous, it was...

Well, I found it a bit meh, to be honest.

I just didn't feel like there was much of a connection when we were together in person. There were awkward silences, we struggled to find things to talk about every so often. He tried to shove his tongue down my throat after he'd had a couple of drinks, but I think he realised his error when I backed off. He kissed me again when he walked me to the train station, another moment that felt awkward as I wasn't feeling it. I spent the train journey home wondering whether I should go on a second date with him. After all, he seemed eager and I know I'm generally an awkward person upon first meeting anyway, so maybe my "not feeling it" was more to do with me that it was to do with him?

He told me he definitely wanted to see me again, and asked me over to his house for new years eve. He'd mentioned a few times that week that he was gonna be on his own on New Years Eve, that he was going to have the house to himself. I declined his offer -  I told him straight that I didn't want him to think I was up for anything sexual, which he seemed fine with. We sent a few texts back and forth up until New Years Day, which is the last time I heard from him. I guess I needn't have worried about whether or not I should go on a second date with him after all.

Once he stopped messaging me, I did wonder whether he was just trying to get me into bed, with him apparently becoming disinterested once New Year had passed. Maybe he hadn't felt a connection with me in person either, and we were both just trying to be nice about it after out date. I suppose one of us should have just come out with it if that were the case. Oh well, nobody got hurt.



If you thought the ending of this story was anti-climactic, imagine how I felt. Almost two months worth of build for there to be no romance at the end of it. Story. Of. My. Life.

I haven't had much success on Tinder since. Sure, I've matched with guys, but the conversations don't last very long, sometimes the conversations don't happen at all. For the most part, I'm ok with it, because I don't believe in trying to force a spark, it's either there or it's not. To borrow from a Green Day song, "You can't go forcing something if it's just not right".

I'm sure I'll meet Mr Right someday. For now, I guess I'll just keep swiping.

Stacey Rose xx

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