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Tuesday, 7 March 2017

Being Friends With My Ex

It's a question that gets asked a lot - can exes really be friends? A lot of people tend to say "no".

I, on the other hand, beg to differ.

In May last year, my now ex-boyfriend Matt ended our relationship. At the time I was devastated, and I felt somewhat blind sided, but after a long and honest discussion about how his feelings for me had simply changed, we agreed that we would try to remain friends. After all, nobody had cheated, there was no massive argument or hatred towards each other, so we didn't see any reason for us to cut each other out of our lives. 

It's been 10 months since we split, and so far we've been pretty successful at being friends.

Don't get me wrong, it's been difficult at times, especially the first few months. I mean, I was on the receiving end of the break up at the end of the day, so at first it was really hard seeing other girls openly flirt with him (Matt will never admit this, but there are quite a few people we both know who fancy him).

Controlling my jealousy was my thing to deal with, although it caused some friction between us at times - we have had our arguments, but we've always managed to talk it out - I think we actually communicate better now as friends than we ever did as a couple.

Matt and I said when we first broke up that we would be totally honest when it came to dating new people, and we have been. I surprised myself when I was ready to date again before he was. When I told him that I was intending on asking someone out towards the end of last year, he was totally full of support and encouragement, and even gave me a full on pep talk as I was building up the courage to ask the question (because it was something that I had NEVER done before - FYI, the guy said no - but the fact that I asked in the first place is a small achievement for me). 

Matt very recently opened up to me about wanting to date again, although he has no one in mind at this present moment. I'm sure it will feel weird at first, seeing him romantically linked with someone else, but I'll get over it. I'm sure it was weird for him knowing that I was interested in another guy.

As it stands, I think me and Matt have a very healthy friendship. We still talk most days and we still hang out together physically, although these days it's more likely in a group than it is just us two alone.
We've just recently passed what would've been our fourth anniversary, and aside from a small twinge of nostalgic sadness I didn't feel any negative feelings at all. If anything, I feel grateful that we have the level of respect for each other that we do and that we're still each others lives.

Not that we have much in the way of choice - I'm still his manager for our home wrestling promotion RWA, and he's not getting rid of me any time soon!

Are you still friends with an ex? Have you attempted to stay friends with an ex and for some reason or another it just didn't work out? Let me know your experiences in the comments!

Peace out
Stacey Rose xx

Me and Matt posing with our friend Nikki at Christmas 2016. Neither of us are particularly good at smiling for photos.
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